I was once asked "What is a stronger emotion, Love or Hate?"
Blindly and naively I responded, "love;" when asked by the love of my life
I asked him the same question back
When asked to justify my choice I gave him a situation, a common, innocent, stupid situation
I told him that if we were in a position where someone pulled a gun on us, I would take the bullet for him and end my life for him
At the time, I really did believe this
I was so blinded by love that it was as if I forgot any pain or hate I had ever felt before
It seemed hate had completely been erased from my life and love was the only emotion that floated around me and affected me
It's different now though
Now that the love has been painfully and abruptly stricken from my now morbid life I understand how wrong I was
Hate is a much stronger emotion
Hate changes a person, makes them feel ways they wouldn't normally believe they could
Hate makes people do things they couldn't fathom possible for themselves
Hate makes a person hurt others, and themselves
I thought of the original situation I had given in defense to my first answer to the question, the situation with the gun
I changed the situation around in my mind and put myself behind the gun, being the person who wanted so badly to end someone else’s life that I was at the final step, waiting to pull the trigger and drastically change everything
I realized hate would drive me to that point, and that if I had ever reached that point in my life where I killed someone, it would be much worse than taking a bullet for a boy I loved
Love can lead you to give up your life for someone, but hate can drive you to kill
You have to live with the decision you made and the fact that you unnaturally took the life of another human being; and living with that is much worse ending your life quickly
But the I realized something else
Hate and love are almost exactly the same thing
The expression about there being a fine line between love and hate, is perhaps the most true expression that anyone could ever say
If I were to ever kill someone, chances are that I would have had to have loved them tremendously before I came to the point in my life where I hated them
The most probable reason for me hating them would be them not returning the love I had for them
Without love blinding me now, I can see that hate is stronger and that love just masks everything
Love is wonderful, but it blinds you and changes everything
When he answered the question, he said hate
I guess that asshole knew the truth all along, and I guess he never really loved me to begin with
Now where did I put that gun...